What’s better than Banana Cream Pie? How about this Banana Cream Pie Ice Cream? My two favorite desserts just got married!
Chronic stomach growling was something I was afflicted with for about five or six years. Through all my research, I could never figure out exactly what caused it, but I did discover that having banana cream pie for breakfast cured it.
Every day of my high school career, my stomach would growl from 10:00 a.m. to 11:00 a.m. Every. Day. People asked me if I ate breakfast, and I did that every day, too. But I ate it really early, so by the time 10:00 rolled around, my body thought it was time for lunch already. Unfortunately, it was not time for lunch. It was time for 10th grade English, or History of Civilization.
History of Civ, as we called it, was taught by the most boring teacher in the high school. He thought he was funny, but he was not, and despite our rolling eyes and snickers, he never got the clue. It was obvious that this man was completely clueless, because the girl who sat next to me on the front row painted her fingernails every single day in class, and he never said a thing. You would think that the smell would at least get to him, but he was oblivious. That’s probably why I got away with so much stomach growling in there.
I wasn’t quite so lucky in my English class. It was torture for me, every day. I knew my stomach was going to growl, but I couldn’t eat banana cream pie for breakfast every day, so I had to come up with other ways to combat the problem. At the very least, I would always lean forward and cross my arms in front of my stomach to try to absorb some of the sound. Some days, I wore my jacket to try to further muffle the gurgling. But this was never enough.
Pretty soon, I started making other noises to draw attention away from my stomach. Sometimes I would rip paper out of my notebook, or tap my pen on the desk. I thought this was too conspicuous, though, so I soon came up with other methods. I would feel a “growl” coming on and try to orchestrate a cough or sniff to explode at exactly the same time my stomach growled. I never got the growl-prediction thing down to an exact science, though, so often, the symphony sounded like this: “Sniff…sniffGROWLSNIFFSNIFF.” Or sometimes it went like this: “Grumble cough grumble sniff GROWL SNIIIIIFFFFF.” Actually, I think I did a pretty good job at keeping others from knowing about my affliction. Until…