{"id":6232,"date":"2017-06-30T06:00:14","date_gmt":"2017-06-30T12:00:14","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/icecreaminspiration.com\/?p=6232"},"modified":"2018-01-02T16:26:00","modified_gmt":"2018-01-02T23:26:00","slug":"the-day-i-sang-for-the-second-time-in-ten-years","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/icecreaminspiration.com\/the-day-i-sang-for-the-second-time-in-ten-years\/","title":{"rendered":"The Day I Sang for the Second Time in Ten Years"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>You know those movies where the protagonist is an underdog, or they have a huge challenge and you watch them struggle to achieve their goal? You know that scene at the end of the movie where against all odds, they are victorious?<\/p>\n<p><strong>This isn&#8217;t like that.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>If you read my post <a href=\"http:\/\/icecreaminspiration.com\/the-day-i-sang-for-the-first-time-in-ten-years\/\">The Day I Sang for the First Time in Ten Years<\/a>, you will know of my battle to overcome a single experience that affected me for a decade. In that post, you saw a video of me singing on Facebook Live in a grand effort to break through my fear.<\/p>\n<p>Even though it was liberating and a huge step for me, it wasn&#8217;t enough. I knew I would have to sing in front of actual people, face to face, in order to REALLY triumph.<\/p>\n<p>So last month, I sang a solo in front of about 30 women and girls at a church talent night. (I sang a gorgeous arrangement of <a href=\"http:\/\/freeldssheetmusic.org\/song\/Be-Still-My-Soul-Vocal-Solo-by-Jared-Ong\">Be Still My Soul<\/a>&#8211;one of my favorite hymns. If you click on the link, you can get the same arrangement I sang.)<\/p>\n<p>As I waited for my turn to sing, I got more and more nervous. I was sweating. I was shaking. All my positive self-talk and essential-oil-sniffing was doing me no good. I wasn&#8217;t expecting a heartwarming movie ending where I sang the song perfectly and everybody cheered. I was just hoping to sing somewhat close to &#8220;the best of my ability.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>I did not sing somewhat close to the best of my ability. In fact, it was the worst public performance I had ever given. Even worse than the one ten years ago that started this whole descent into the pit of paralyzing fear. My nerves completely hijacked everything. My prayers didn&#8217;t help. My visualizations didn&#8217;t help. My voice cut out on numerous occasions. It was, in a word, pathetic.<\/p>\n<p>When I was done, I went into the bathroom and cried. Then I went home and cried myself to sleep. The next morning, I was still crying.<\/p>\n<p>Before I sang, I told myself that no matter what happened, I would feel great because I had overcome my fear. I had stared it in the face and dared it to stop me. I had pressed on even when the outcome was uncertain, to say the least.<\/p>\n<p>But I didn&#8217;t feel great. I didn&#8217;t feel a sense of accomplishment. I didn&#8217;t feel like I had overcome anything. All I had now were TWO horrible singing experiences where I had embarrassed myself in public.<\/p>\n<p><strong>And now I have twice the reason to try again<\/strong>. I&#8217;m not going to stop singing for ten years again. It was naive of me to expect that I could just get up and sing in public and miraculously have the voice of an angel. It was thoughtless of me to ask God to make my performance beautiful when I had not put in the time or effort to make it so.<\/p>\n<p>At first, I felt a sort of frenzied desperation and came up with a plan to sing a song every week on Facebook Live for a year. THAT would surely help me overcome my fear, right? Then I thought I could ask to sing in church a lot, but that would seem narcissistic and would be serving myself&#8211;not God. When talking to others, they say that the only thing that calms the nerves is experience. In other words, singing frequently in public. I know that when I first started playing the organ in church, I was petrified and panicked at the same time. But now that I have done it so often, I&#8217;m rarely nervous at all. Even when I know that I&#8217;ll probably make a mistake and EVERYBODY will hear it. (You cannot hide mistakes on a church organ in front of a congregation of hundreds of people!)<\/p>\n<p>You know what else? I sang 95% of the notes well. I sang in tune. My voice just cut out a few times. It was soft and breathy, but that&#8217;s better than loud and screechy. So statistically speaking, I got a solid B. That&#8217;s not failing.<\/p>\n<p>For now, I&#8217;m just singing in the choir&#8211;blending my voice with the voices of others, and hoping that in time, I&#8217;ll be able to sing Be Still My Soul (my new vocal nemesis) in public again. And this time, it will be beautiful. (And I&#8217;m still contemplating the whole Facebook Live idea).<\/p>\n<p>Now when I think about this experience, I feel at peace. I remember my favorite quote: &#8220;A life lived in fear is a life half-lived.&#8221; You know what? I bombed my performance. But I didn&#8217;t let fear stop me from trying. I didn&#8217;t half-live my life. And THAT is a victory.<\/p>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"aligncenter wp-image-6235 size-full\" src=\"http:\/\/icecreaminspiration.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/06\/The-day-I-sang-for-the-second-time-in-ten-years.jpg\" alt=\"I had bombed two vocal performances. The first time, I didn't sing again for ten years. The second time, I'm not letting fear hold me back.\" width=\"854\" height=\"1280\" srcset=\"https:\/\/icecreaminspiration.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/06\/The-day-I-sang-for-the-second-time-in-ten-years.jpg 683w, https:\/\/icecreaminspiration.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/06\/The-day-I-sang-for-the-second-time-in-ten-years-200x300.jpg 200w, https:\/\/icecreaminspiration.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/06\/The-day-I-sang-for-the-second-time-in-ten-years-640x960.jpg 640w, https:\/\/icecreaminspiration.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/06\/The-day-I-sang-for-the-second-time-in-ten-years-735x1102.jpg 735w, https:\/\/icecreaminspiration.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/06\/The-day-I-sang-for-the-second-time-in-ten-years-768x1151.jpg 768w, https:\/\/icecreaminspiration.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/06\/The-day-I-sang-for-the-second-time-in-ten-years-300x450.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 854px) 100vw, 854px\" \/><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>You know those movies where the protagonist is an underdog, or they have a huge challenge and you watch them struggle to achieve their goal? You know that scene at the end of the movie where against all odds, they are victorious? This isn&#8217;t like that. If you read my post The Day I Sang<a class=\"more-link\" href=\"https:\/\/icecreaminspiration.com\/the-day-i-sang-for-the-second-time-in-ten-years\/\" rel=\"nofollow\">Continue Reading<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":6235,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"disable-jtr":false,"wprm-recipe-roundup-name":"","wprm-recipe-roundup-description":"","_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":""},"categories":[239,243],"tags":[423,397],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v20.11 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>The Day I Sang for the Second Time in Ten Years - Beautiful Life and Home<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"I had bombed two vocal performances. 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The second time, I&#039;m not letting fear hold me back.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/icecreaminspiration.com\/the-day-i-sang-for-the-second-time-in-ten-years\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Beautiful Life and Home\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/icecreaminspiration\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:author\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/icecreaminspiration\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2017-06-30T12:00:14+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2018-01-02T23:26:00+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/icecreaminspiration.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/06\/The-day-I-sang-for-the-second-time-in-ten-years.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"683\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"1024\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Melissa Howell\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@https:\/\/twitter.com\/icecreaminspire\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Melissa Howell\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"4 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/icecreaminspiration.com\/the-day-i-sang-for-the-second-time-in-ten-years\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/icecreaminspiration.com\/the-day-i-sang-for-the-second-time-in-ten-years\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Melissa Howell\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/icecreaminspiration.com\/#\/schema\/person\/ff32b12a34661368acae8522055a0bde\"},\"headline\":\"The Day I Sang for the Second Time in Ten Years\",\"datePublished\":\"2017-06-30T12:00:14+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2018-01-02T23:26:00+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/icecreaminspiration.com\/the-day-i-sang-for-the-second-time-in-ten-years\/\"},\"wordCount\":803,\"commentCount\":0,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/icecreaminspiration.com\/#organization\"},\"keywords\":[\"inspirational\",\"singing\"],\"articleSection\":[\"Extras\",\"That's Inspiring\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/icecreaminspiration.com\/the-day-i-sang-for-the-second-time-in-ten-years\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/icecreaminspiration.com\/the-day-i-sang-for-the-second-time-in-ten-years\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/icecreaminspiration.com\/the-day-i-sang-for-the-second-time-in-ten-years\/\",\"name\":\"The Day I Sang for the Second Time in Ten Years - Beautiful Life and Home\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/icecreaminspiration.com\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2017-06-30T12:00:14+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2018-01-02T23:26:00+00:00\",\"description\":\"I had bombed two vocal performances. 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