The moon was bright as it beamed down on the deep blue waters of Puget Sound. The thrumming of the engine steadily pushed the ferry… Oh nevermind the dramatics. Here’s what happened:
Every year, the youth of my church in the Seattle area got to go to the highly anticipated “Boat Dance.” We rented a ferry and sailed out into the ocean for three hours and danced to the tunes of Tears for Fears, The Cure, and Richard Marx. Yes, in the setting of being trapped on a boat for three hours with no escape, and the dulcet tones of 80’s music, romance was my destiny.
Destiny appeared in the form of a blonde, shy boy who followed me around as I, a blonde, shy girl, did not resist or try to escape. (Let’s call Mr. Destiny by the name of “Jason,” since I can’t remember his actual name). We danced the night away, as they say (or at least stepped from side to side with an assist from the swaying ferry). At the end of the night, he asked if he could see me again–if we could go on a real date.
This was thrilling to me. I had just reached the age of 16 and was given the permission to date. Now a boy had actually asked me–ME–on a date!
He called me a few days later and we made plans. Or rather, he suggested plans. I was not thrilled about these plans. However, this being my first date and all, I did not want to appear ungrateful or unwilling.
These were the plans: We would go with his church group to their swimming/waterslide activity. This was troubling to me for the following reasons:
- I did not know how to swim.
- I did not like to shave.
- I really did not like to shave. Especially all the areas a woman is expected to shave.
- I was flat-chested. As in no-chested. As in that’s super embarrassing when you are wearing a swimsuit.
- Did I mention how much I hated to shave?
I should have known there was trouble when Jason showed up with two other boys in tow. I was even more concerned when he told me that he had been grounded and was not allowed to drive.
So we drove to the appointed meeting place with his friend at the wheel. Alas, we were late and his church group had already left!
Actually, not “alas.” More like “hooray!” Although I stifled my excitement at this turn of events.
So we went to Jason’s house. When we arrived, we had to think of something to do. It was decided (not by me) that we would watch, “Little Shop of Horrors.” At some point early in the movie, the two other boys who were with us decided to wrestle on the floor in front of the t.v.
Hello! Nice young lady here on her very first date ever! I watched in disbelief as these boys’ flailing arms and legs mimicked the flailing vines and leaves of the giant man-eating plant in the movie.
Jason did nothing. No, “Hey guys, cut that out,” or “You want to go to the kitchen to get something to eat?” Granted, he was only 16 and it may have been his first date, too. But I remained unimpressed. And slightly annoyed.
So much for Mr. Destiny.
Olivia Heilmann says
That is so hysterical and brings back not so fond memories of my date to the car show. The car show. For HOURS. I tried to ooo and ahh as much as I could but after 3 hours with many more hours of looking under hoods and kicking tires, I was about ready to SCREAM! The saving grace was when we got pulled over for speeding. I felt two emotions. First, serves you right for being such a meat head and second, PLEASE officer. PLEASE take me with you!!